6 ways to really mess up your computer

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Everyone at some point gets really angry at their computer. Either it’s too slow, or it doesn’t do what you expect it to do, or some other thing – and you get really frustrated with it. Want to get even with your computer? Here are some ways to really mess it up!

mess up your pc

  1. Whenever you see a link, click on it!
    Lots of opportunities here. Someone might send you a link in an email, or better yet, a friend might put a link on Facebook when they update their status. If you see one that seems to lead to something interesting, just click on it immediately without even thinking about it. After all, it’s on Facebook and your friend wouldn’t have posted it unless it was something he wanted you to click on, right? That link just might take you to some website or download that will really teach your computer a lesson.
  2. Let that thing overheat!
    Computers have it so easy – they can go to sleep after a little while, they don’t work all the time, and most of all – they are just about always running in a comfortable, temperature-controlled environment. No more! Laptops are the worst for this, and the easiest to mess up. Just fire up your laptop, then go use it while you’re in bed. You want to just set it right on your mattress or blanket, and make sure the exhaust port (where the fan blows out the hot air) is completely covered up so that the heated air has to stay inside the machine. Now your laptop can know what it was like in the days before air conditioning!
  3. Open every email attachment!
    You get emails all day, so there are LOTS of chances sitting right there in front of you to cause problems for your computer. IRS sending you a bill? Fedex says they can’t find your house and to check the attached invoice? State government says you drove through a toll booth without paying so they’re attaching the bill to your email? These are all scams and the “invoice” is really just a virus – so just open every one of them and your computer will have all kinds of regrets at ever acting up.
  4. Avoid all the updates for your computer!
    You know those stupid updates that are always popping up – Java has an update, Adobe has an update, iTunes has an update. Why all the updates? Most of them are to patch up security holes in programs that are already installed on your computer. Well, maybe your computer could use a little INsecurity as a wake-up call. So when you see an update come up, just ignore it. Pretty soon your various programs will be so outdated and insecure, your computer won’t know what to do!
  5. Ignore those error messages!
    Everyone hates when an error message comes up. If your computer had its way, you would write down the error message so that you could relay it accurately to your computer tech, and that is one step toward solving whatever the problem is. Yeah, your computer would love to have it that easy, right? So just do the easiest thing – close that message and forget about it. Sure, it will probably keep coming back since the underlying problem hasn’t been solved – but how does your computer learn who’s in charge if you just give it whatever it asks for?
  6. Thunderstorm? Leave that thing plugged in!
    Computers are such sissies. They just don’t know how to handle a little bit of thunder and lightning. Some computer owners actually go around and unplug their computers from the wall during a thunderstorm, since that means the equipment can’t be damaged by a nearby lightning strike or voltage surge. That’s just giving in to the whims of your machine. Leave everything plugged in, even during an electrical storm. A little high-voltage couldĀ give your computer a headache it will never forget!

Okay… I hope you know that all of the above was sarcasm. If you really do want to mess up your computer, those are ways that I see happening all the time. But you should do the opposite of those things if you want your computer to run smoothly and do what it’s supposed to do.

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Suzanne van der Merwe
August 31st, 2015

Why this new way asking for comments?
Is it easier for you to deal with?
I prefer writing to you about whatever is most in my mind, not necessarily the “special of the day”.
Thanks though for having WRITTEN down the six ways to mess up your computer.
I got the sarcasm in your words, but it makes it more real!
Ipod requires good hearing which I don’t have.

Thanks, as always.

Scott Johnson
August 31st, 2015

Thanks Suzanne – you can comment here or email me directly, whatever you prefer.

Nina Nestoroff
September 6th, 2015

Loved the sarcasm! But one thing did give me pause…. I have a laptop that I try really hard to keep “in tune”. One of the updates that I get is for iTunes. I never update that b/c I don’t have a Mac. It mentions “Quick Time” (I think) and one or two other updates. Am I supposed to be updating those?
Thanks in advance for your reply.

Scott Johnson
September 6th, 2015

I don’t place quite as much importance on iTunes updates, but you should still keep it fairly up to date. Of course, if you don’t use it, you should just uninstall it (doesn’t really matter in this case if it’s on a Mac or a Windows computer). QuickTime is a media player that plays certain video formats. Some websites use it to play their content. One thing about both iTunes and Quicktime is that neither one needs to be running all the time in the background, so you should take them out of the startup group. But each time they update, they will obnoxiously put themselves back in the startup group so they have to be removed again.

Nina Nestoroff
September 7th, 2015

Thanks for the response, Scott. I appreciate finally knowing how to proceed with those updates.